Religious Re-Basing

Occasionally you meet someone on your path, a circumstantial companion if you will.  This person isn’t just attractive, they have gravity.  A pull. They alter your orbit and send you off on a new course.  When it happens for the first time it blindsides you. Couldn’t believe it was possible to walk in step with someone so effortlessly.  The beats of your lives are a harmony of the deep music of the universe. Our guest this week wasn’t my first, or even in the first dozen to alter my trajectory.  My path as been so full of magnificent members of the universe that I feel like a Pokemon trainer. I’m collecting the legendary creatures! By the time I ran into Base Miami’s Rabbi, I was just ready and open to receive.  He fit like a puzzle piece into my life.

It’s been said, anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have their head examined.  It’s the same with spiritual leaders. Adam Gindea is my spiritual brother from another mother.  It’s safe to say we dig each other. To put it mildly. I can’t help but geek out with him over esoterically obscure religious texts.  He shows me Jewish mystics, I show him Chinese philosophers or Indian ascetics and together we froth over the similarities synchronicites and syntaxis.  It’s a monthly occurrence. We might overdo it a bit. Whatever. Don’t Kinkshame us.


Well, it’s time.  We need to talk. I was hesitant, resistant even.  I tried to love you, like the Chili Peppers, but it was more of a hot mess than I care to admit.  7 is a good number of years.  Numerology isn’t something I’m into in general but in specific cases it speaks to me.

Ughh, I’m putting this off...coming at this in a roundabout way.  I want to do the fadeaway  It’s so hard to say, but I’m riding this number thing so I’ll stick with that.  Have you heard of Dunbar’s Number?  Primates have a limit to their social groups based on the size of their brain parts.  For humans its 150.

I’m not saying we can’t still be friends.  You shaped me in ways I’ll never forget. You taught me about community, heartbreak, culture, and podcasting.  There’s no easy way to say it.  

Miami, I’m leaving you.  

So is Brian.

You don’t fit in our 150 anymore. You were a harsh mistress but we aren't leaving out of malice. We are leaving for love.  We are running to and not from. It wasn't the men, cause there were other women, this just isn’t love, it's just the remorse of a loss of a feeling.

So long Miami. You’re beautiful, shallow, seedy, and your heart is hidden but I love you.

Is there a word for laughing maniacally, while crying and driving?  Better check the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Cause that’s what I did leaving this city.  Driver’s on I-95 must have thought I had lost it.  I was in good company though, I was on I-95 after all.



Breathe In Strength, Breathe Out Bullshit

Gushing at Rosewaters

I have a few professional crushes.  I try to not geek out around them. I tried real hard this time.  I did. Really. Fair warning I’m about to lose my composure. But daaaamn I’m super ‘mirin Akasha Rosewaters’ social media game. And dat hustle! Her coaching work has got me realizing how much farther I’ve got to go.  I’m so jelly I’m jam.

The best of the millennial crop of influencers are those that let their shit out.  They hit you with that honesty like a felling axe. The struggle is real and hiding it isn’t in vogue.  Authenticity is much harder to fake than confidence. Dying are the days of fauxfidence. A term I just coined.  Mint me. 

Akasha Rosewaters…damn that name is so cool.  That name sounds like the heroine of a story where the hero travels the breadth of the land struggling to overcome the adversity of all the deadly nature to fight a dragon in an attempt save her from a tall tower.  However once said hero arrives, bramble scratched and destitute, he finds that Akasha Rosewaters has already saved herself from the tower, fought and killed the dragon, and turned its pelt in to dragon bone armor. The castle explodes in the background as she slow-mo walks towards the camera, but she’s too bad-ass to turn around and look at the devastation.  Someone should pay me for these ideas. 

Anyway.  In this episode of Mindfulness of Doom, MINDFULNESS OF DOOM  Akasha shows us her authenticity.  I’ve done talked her up enough already.  Now it’s her turn.



~Prawn.  Something for your mind

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 40 – Emotional Fitness with Akasha Rosewaters

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Doom Yoga and a Severe Lack of Brians

January 25, 2019

Sometimes it’s the little things.  Dipping one’s finger in spilled sugar, the invincibility of puppies falling down, the satisfactory sound of a particularly crunching looking leaf on the sidewalk.  Today it is the name Toliuszis.  Like delicious with a T.  More specifically the owner of the name, also known as Paul.  It’s so fun to say!  Try it!  Toliuszis mmmm.  The conversation we had is not just one of those little things that makes life worth living:  it’s what I crave.  I live for these deliberative discussions.  I endure the spaces between, like a cactus waiting for rain. 

Long time listeners may have noticed our upload schedule has been less than stellar.  We went from a casting of the pod once per 7 day cycle to once per lunar cycle.  I’m happy to announce that we are now on a bi-lunar rotational update schedule!  Brian is again back in the Old World, so the Doom Duo is currently sandwiching the world.  The planets diameter is less of a hindrance than one might think thanks to geostationary orbiting technology, however there is a noticeable absence of Brian(s) in my life.  Miami’s friendly neighborhood Bush Shaman has been in seclusion as well. It’s a void that was once filled with proximity, but now only faint shafts of light sometimes grace the corners of my room.  In less dire terms.  I miss their faces.

In other notable events for the keen listener, the audio engineering on this episode has been substantially tinkered with.  How do you like me now?  I’ve been brushing up on my youtubing audio issue skills and found that I was only and extra two hours of noise canceling, normalizing, compressing, equalizing, hard limiting, and normalizing again away from marginally better ear noises.  We still need compressor mics, headphones, and an audio interface so we can drastically increase the sound quality, but for now I’m taking classes and dreaming of the day I can buy this.    Won’t you please visit our Patreon?

It boggles my mind, but I actually own a Mindfulness of Doom T-shirt now.  And Stickers!  I believe the yet to be named post millennial generation calls these things, Swag. The stickers are being sent out to some lucky listeners who are extra special to me.  Speaking of special, I think we have a new Number One Fan!  She didn’t outright SAY that she was per se, but I say that she is because she said that Mindfulness of Doom was a big deal around her home.  It made me all warm and gooey inside.  I’m not sure if I should have that checked out, something may have melted.  Stacy if I melt I’m holding you responsible.


~A Year Without Murdering Anybody  

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 39 – The Wisdom of Doom Yoga with Paul Toliuszis

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Mix Tapes and Typewriters

January 2, 2019

There is something romantic about the clacking of ink stained metal hieroglyphs.  A similar romance exists in the dropping of diamond tipped plastic into etched grooves of vinyl.  It’s that little extra effort of intention.  Or perhaps it’s that little extra risk of getting it wrong.  Bringing your toes to the edge of the cliff to practice your art.  Dangerously close to disaster to make it raw, net-less, unrehearsed.  It’s an edge where most would approach hesitantly.  Typewriter poetry.  Constraint, confidence, and the dexterous skill of fingers on keys.  A noble art I can respect.  One need not wonder why. 

Tap tap tap cl-click click clack.  (New Mindfulness of Doom Episode Coming Tomorrow)

A word smith, nay, a word hobbyist I may be.  But my voice is deliberate, discerned, and debated before descending to the page.  A blinking vertical line reminds me that I can always retract and reform.  It is an untimed chess game with myself.  Merely marks of a bohemian mind.  Untempered by time constraints these words are just a well decorated presentation.  Clever perhaps, but lacking the sharpness of wit. 

I sit in the shadow of professionals Devan Kingsford and Erika Evans.  Smiths worthy of words.  They add tempo, pacing, and meter to say nothing of rhythm and the occasional rhyme.  Topics are bought wrought and moved to purpose.  Beautiful poetry formed in the same time it took me to write this sentence.  Their art wasn’t crafted so much as it was forged… on the streets.  Which is not a turn of phrase.  They are literally on the street.  Boots on the ground.  Making art in real time.  It’s more than a little bad ass.

I never grew out of that mix tape phase.  Sorry, mix cd. No?  Fine.  Playlist.  I still make playlists.  Neophyte.   

The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do. It takes ages longer than it might seem.  John’s right, using someone else’s poetry to express yourself is delicate.  You have to hook your audience, entice them to show that you have something worth spending their time on.  Then you have to consider pacing, length, tone, meaning, and flow, all while keeping the arc of the emotions you are trying to evoke in the proper order.  It’s a lot of forethought that will never be known except to the creator.  After all the songs on display will conjure unique feelings in each listener. 

Recently I have crafted two playlists.  They were made for a listener of Mindfulness of Doom who recently reached out to me.  She sent me a playlist of her own that was phenomenal.  The first song just blew me away.  I’d never heard it but it was exactly what I needed to hear. The connection reminded me that I had something personal to say, and I chose to say it with other peoples’ poetry.  Feel free to check out my mixes…ugh…playlists on my Spotify profile.  

11 Decembers
Art is an attempt to explain the inherently unexplainable nature of experience; to express what it’s like to exist in the universe from a unique perspective. These songs attempt to explain, autobiographically, the arc of my experiences from 23-33:  adventure, depression, heartbreak, and self-love. (Track 16 will be a pleasant treat for Mindfulness of Doom listeners 

Driving North, Going South
Long form emotional road trip music with limited lyrical interruption.


~Hey there with the pretty face, welcome to the human race.

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 38 – Itinerant Gypsy Poets with Devan Kingsford and Erika Evans

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Paragon of Human Decency

August 24, 2018

The end times are upon us, as a sign of the coming apocalypse, the blog has been updated twice since the last episode has been released.  I blame Brian’s magical adventures in the old worldShots fired. I encourage you dear reader, to reach out to him and shame him (with love) for his discretions.  I suppose I must also make penance. I offer this as access to my life force.  Use it to tell me of the many ways in which this blog need be populated by more frequent and numerous postings. 

Some months back, eons in podcast time, I was blessed with a rather gracious honor.  An email appeared in my inbox. That alone is a blessing indeed. The contents of this email however, were astonishing:  it described a board meeting in some high crystal tower. Men and women of means were discussing how to spread the joy and abundance of literacy to human cherubs who had not yet had the pleasure.  Their noble task: to assist parents and teachers in the spread of the As, Bs, and even the Cs. We are all born savages. Civilization must be taught. These Bodhisattva’s of education are attempting to rid human society of illiteracy.  Then came the shock of the year. That illustrious group was requesting our help. 

Their need was simple.  A voice was needed to communicate their message.  One that could record, edit, and perform their siren song .  Yes.  It happened.  Mindfulness of Doom was heard by all ears in that boardroom.  We had a woman on the inside, you might say. The Doom-signal was lit, and shined across the sky.  Help was needed. And I answered the call. Now I can add voice actor to the list of odd jobs on my resume.   

The Fates had seen fit to place one of our listeners in that boardroom.  One by the name of Christina. I have had the pleasure of making her acquaintance and I must say, she is a singular individual.  She is a paragon of human decency and grace. On more than one occasion she has blown my mind by sharing a vulnerability with such honesty and openness that I found myself still thinking about it a week after.  Where most people hide behind walls of “I’m fine”, she showed something closer to humanity than your average homo-sapien (at least on the occasions that I was paying attention). She reminded me that vulnerability is synonymous with strength.  We all know the “I’m fine”’s of the world are necessary to get through the day. Sometimes it’s best to just endure. Other times, it’s good to let down the walls and be human. Of course I don’t envy anyone their pain, and we all struggle in one way or another, but I do admire the way she handles hers.     


~My Spoon Is too Big 

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 34 – Pineal Gland Self Surgery with Kunal Chohan

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What? Doomtown is Evolving!

August 8, 2018

Contrary to the evidence of my absence from the last two  and upcoming castings of the pod, I have not yet shuffled off this mortal coil.  I’m still here; lurking, cocooning, meta-morphing as it were.  Brian’s escapades in Mexico have granted us such a boon of content that I have been free to focus my attentions elsewhere.  

Direct your attention to this:  Mindfulness of Doom is now on Spotify and Google Play.  This adds the second and fourth most popular places to find podcasts to our collection of first, third, and fifth.  We have now collected the top 5. Like Pokemon we are collecting all the listeners. Mindfulness of Doom has been sending its whale song into the oceans of the internet for 10 months now.  You may be just as surprised as I to know that we have just crossed 4200 listeners. Congratulations! Long ago have you left the definition of hamlet. You as a population have graduated from village into a small town!  You have unlocked the local transportation tech tree, the bank loan option, and the sewage treatment plant. 

Brian and I have been hard at work concocting an event the likes of which have never been seen before!  At least in the sense that we’ve yet to do it together. April 25th and 26th at the Alma Community Life Center in Vero Beach, Florida we are presiding over our first meditation retreat!  Focus and Flow: An Immersive Meditation Retreat.  Though each of us has taught/organized/managed events and retreats in the past, this is the first meeting of the ways for us.  Those who attend will be at the mercy of our collective experiences in meditation and mindfulness. I promise it will be an educational and restorative event, not nearly as doomy as the podcast.  See that adjectification of doom? Self high-five!

My current thoughts of doom and doubt are with presentation.  Often my attempts at humility are taken as a lack of confidence and conversely my attempts at confidence are perhaps a tad arrogant.  Striking that balance is one that I spend a significant amount of time of the non-zero variety considering.  How does one who purports to be a teacher, both point to the path of knowledge and understanding while also honestly and openly sharing that the answer eludes him?  This quandary is further complicated by the need to sell this teaching as a service. I blame John Green for these ruminations.

Do you want to know what makes me insatiably happy right now?  I can’t stop. It’s a problem. My roommates have a forced appreciation for this album because I. Won’t. Stop. Talking. About. It.  I mean look at this guy. You can just imagine him running to this soundtrack.  It’s so good. If the emotion had a sound of happy in the 70’s its this.  This gem of awesomeness was brought to my attention by Kunal Chohan, former DJ of WVUM 90.5 the Voice of the University Miami and upcoming guest on Mindfulness of Doom!  Keep it locked.


~I’ve said what I’d said and you know what I mean
But I still can’t focus on anything
We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves~

Listen to the Podcast Episode:
Episode 30 – Death, Happiness, and Robots! Part 1
Episode 31 – Death, Happiness, and Robots! Part 2
Episode 32 – Death, Happiness, and Robots! Part 3

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Doom that Walks Before and Doom that Walks Behind

March 28, 2018

This week is the supposed “anniversary” of the relative position around our host star in which my birth occurred some 33-ish Earth/Sun revolutions ago.  The more science one knows, the more difficult it becomes for that first sentence to remain unadorned with footnotes or asterisks.  

Uncontrolled bodily twitches caused by a suppression of the desire to explain the discipline of celestial mechanics, physics, or the imperfect science of tracking time may overtake me any moment. In layman’s speech; the ground is moving, around a giant continuous explosion which is also moving.  Which means that, in the history of time, you have never ever been in the same place for even a second. Mind = Blown.  

Which leads me to birthdays.  The day humans claw their way out of another human, and our need to keep reminding each other every year of our accomplishment.  If anyone should be celebrating it should be your bio-mom. She did all the work. Buy her the cake.  

My Maternal Unit has again come through in flying colors.  But that story will have to wait, for the backstory has yet to be recorded into podcast form.  Rest assured the wait will be worth it. The story includes me teaching the masses about the nature of the universe, two jackets, the Okeechobee Music and Arts Festival, a traveling Swami, suitcases, and a can of SPAM.  Get Hyped.

Strangely though, society doesn’t tend to actually celebrate birthdays.  They celebrate the anniversary of birthdays. Colloquially speaking, I will be 33 years old, but it will be my 34th birthday.  The day you are born counts as a birthday.  THE birthday in fact.

In the U.S. the 21st anniversary of your birth is the day the government decides its no longer going to ruin your life if you have an alcoholic beverage.  Freshly minted adults who are hoping to take advantage of the fact that most people don’t know the difference between birthdays and anniversaries of birthdays, might try to Jedi Mind Trick the doorman.  “It’s my 21st birthday!” is the same thing as, “I’m 20 years old today!” Doormen, after all, tend not to be hired for their gifts with nuance, subtlety, or a firm grasp of the English language. 

In the same fashion, we have pulled this stunt on our listeners.  Episode 21 has been released before Episode 20. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.  In podcast years, we have become one step farther from ne’er-do-well and one step closer to our DOOM….er, um, success.  Whatever that is. We’re a step closer to it.

Last week we even met some people who didn’t know who we were, but knew about Mindfulness of Doom!  It was surreal. Almost like we had fans.  That’s a weird thought.  Oh I know you’re out there.  I see the numbers. It’s frightening.  There are twice as many people who have listened to our show than I have facebook friends.  That means that about half of you, I’ve never met, and you’ve heard my voice. …and perhaps you’ve been Jedi Mind Tricked into listening to Episode 21  before Episode 20.



Listen to the Podcast Episode:
Episode 21-1 – School Shootings and The Happiness Amendment with Suzanne Jewell
Episode 21 Part Two - Your Aneurysm Is Your Teacher with Suzanne Jewell
Episode 20 – Card Carrying Buddhists with Kim Dembrosky

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Life Transistions

February 16, 2018

Unfortuitously, the day the episode on life transitions was recorded, I was unceremoniously fired from a teaching gig I’d been a part of since the founding of that particular establishment.  Consolations are unnecessary.  That relationship was doomed (heh) from the onset.  Any job in which I am working for someone else other than myself, is inherently one that is not sustainable.  It’s too much like indentured servitude.  They offered to keep me on as substitute, if I, in the parlance of our times, bend the knee.  But the, uh, the idea of kneeling, it’s- You see, blowing the minds of all those students of yours has, uh, well it’s left a nasty cramp in my leg, so kneeling will be hard for me.

This venture also had that unfortunate habit of calling it’s employee’s, family.  Eww.  

Transitions should be like breathing; flowing from one to the next.  Occasionally, the rhythm or pacing gets wacky but for the most part they are just as important.  Someone once asked Jerry Seinfeld what his favorite Seinfeld episode was.  He responded by saying it was like asking someone what their favorite breath of air is.  To which the only answer is, “whatever one it is that gets me to the next one.”  Today’s, uhh, involuntary transition was just another one of those breaths.  Except this one happened to come out of the other end.  

I suppose if someone were to ask us what our favorite Mindfulness of Doom episode was, in answering, I would be performing some sort of self harm.  Each one has a piece of me in it.  To choose one over another would be masochism.  The smart thing would be to be diplomatic about it.  Brian and I have discussed this.  The best episode is always the most recent one.  We are blind to the faults of our progenies.  At least in public.   It’s like being asked which of your offspring is your favorite.  It’s taboo.  You’re not suppose to have an answer to that question.  But I do.  It’s this one.  You might not agree, but I have made a study of such things.


~I try to have an open mind, but your brain and your mouth must not be connected.

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 19 - Life Transitions are Scary with Jen Canon

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Death Meditation

October 30, 2017

Accidentally getting involved in a cult is just one of those things that your parents worry about at night.  What is he learning in that school of his?  Back in 2013 I switched my focus in graduate school from international relations to Asian studies after coming out of every IR class depressed about the state of the world.  A fortuitous chance friendship with a former monk lead me away from the doom and gloom of the world of politics, and into a whole ‘nother level-level of doom and gloom.  Meeting William Colachicco was a defining moment for me.  No so much a fork in the road, as a slap in the face and a directive to “Go that way!”  He and some of my professors convinced me, despite my heavy skepticism, that studying Buddhism was, as they say, right up my alley.

Now called Professor by his bright-eyed students, Mr. Colachicco is our first guest on Mindfulness of Doom.  Expect to hear more from him.  He is dreamy.  He and I have had many late night arguments about the nature of the universe, the cosmological constant, and the gathering of magic.  We normally discuss our disagreements over our shared love of Chipotle.  By the way, for you patreon supporters, my standard order is: burrito bowl with the tortilla shell on the side, brown rice, no beans, steak, mild pico de gallo, corn, sour cream, cheese, guac.  Yes. I know it’s extra, we’ve been through this. Pomegranate-Cherry juice.

Oh right, we’re all going to die.  Let me get to the point.  Death.  It’s going to happen.  All Buddhist monks, of the Theravandan variety are exposed to the practice discussed in today’s episode.  They may not actually practice it, but it is in the Pali Canon as well as the Visuddhimagga, the most popular commentarial text on Theravada Buddhism.  Started well, that sentence.  Yeah, it got away from me.  The point is, monks study it, but it isn’t a practice normally taught to lay people.  Which is interesting, especially considering this is an ancient practice revived using modern technology.  Specifically, the use of medical autopsy DVDs and slide shows of corpses as meditation objects.  I know right!

Will and I got into the study of this practice pretty intently.  We went back several times and took observations and collected survey data of the participants after and as they watched the DVDs.   I’ve never been so excited to see people uncomfortable before.  The data was great. You know… for science.    We wrote a 50 page paper on it.  Publication pending.  Perhaps one day it will see the light of day.  Stay tuned.



~People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 4 - Death Meditation

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World’s Second Best Podcast

October 23, 2017

It is entirely possible that last week while referring to the creation of our podcast as our spawn, I may have inadvertently cause some sort of family creation competition.  The person colloquially known as my brother, has also created a spawn; one of the real human variety.  A spark of consciousness in the universe that has been brewing for three quarters of a year has blessed the world with her presence.  She is beautiful and an expression of cosmic divinity.  Brian and I are really going to have to step up our podcast game if we wanna compete in a world with such stunning displays of majesty.

This week, the discussion begins with cold cream-based desserts.  They are popular the world over.  If the podcast is as good as we’re boasting, we ought to do well.  If it’s not, well at least we were somewhat humble about it.  We here at Mindfulness of Doom are certainly not the final authority on mindfulness.  Cultivating a healthy skepticism is in everyone’s best interest.  You are capable of so much on your own.  Guides, teachers, and role models are not strictly speaking necessary.  One can start a fire without matches, after all, but they certainly help.  Perhaps our musings may be of use to you.

For those of us who struggle with doubt of either the cerebral or fear based varieties that prevents us from moving forward, I suggest a prescription of Ze Frank.  I’d also recommend you subscribe to Mindfulness of Doom as a reminder not to waste life, or death for that matter.  It’s one thing thing to be awestruck by the universe, another thing entirely to be dumbstruck by it.  It may be useful to remember that you are part of the universe, inseparable from it in fact.  There’s nothing you do that isn’t an expression of it.  OK so that’s pretty heady.  How about the notion that you are at least 50th cousins with every person on the planet?  You’re connected even deeper than that.  You are at least a trillionth cousins will every living thing on this planet.  Quadrillionth cousins with water.  How does this help?  It won’t, but it might change your perspective, which can help.

So go forth.  Spawn great works.



Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 3 - World’s Second Best Podcast

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A Measure of Humility

October 16, 2017

Emerging from out of the shadow of obfuscation, please allow us to present to you a second helping of the pod, such as it is. Like all new parents, I am proud of my ability to spawn and have perhaps have already allowed my excitement to lead me to folly. Also, like new parents, I am immediately overcome with an anxiety to perform good works. To guide our progeny towards being a being worth knowing. Before all that though, it is necessary to be mindful of two facts. The former is to remember that children are not coloring books to be filled in as the progenitor dictates. The latter is the reminder that podcasts do not have legs. The pod will only go as far as we allow her to go. Watch her run.

We open with a story of unfortunate circumstances. A tale of dashed dignity, and the need to shower with a poopy cat named Dipstick. I wish I were making this up but the tragedy of pride is that sometimes you have to take it out back behind the tool shed and shoot it. Your pride. Not the cat. Don’t worry, we’re not going for toilet humor for the purpose of being low brow, but because dignity is a fickle thing, and poopy cat is an excellent reminder that life isn’t always peaches and purring. True dignity is doing what you gotta do. Be above being above dirty work. Brian of course, needs no reminder. He is unflappable.

A good friend of mine once relayed to me some advice from a physics professor at UCSC. It was something to the extent of, “There’s room at the top. So few people are really trying. Haven’t you noticed?” No. I hadn’t. Not till then, but it did remind me of the only time I made straight A’s in high school. For a semester. Not the year. I’m not a masochist. I had decided I wanted that mark of distinction, at least once. The surprise was that I didn’t even do that much more work than I normally had. Just a bit more. And that was all that was needed. My achievement unlocked and my expectations of reality cracked a little more than they had been three months prior, I characteristically resumed my disdain for the high school rat race and arbitrary designations of quality, written in some foreign cypher. A, B, A, C, A, C. Never could get that code right.

Getting it right is the source of so much suffering. Not the doing of it, the wanting of it. Perhaps there’s some cosmic podcast god entity we should check in with to see if we’re doing it right. Having all the answers and knowing the right moves to make would certainly help ease all this doubt, the fear, the procrastination. Such a being might bless you with a gift. The secret to the universe, the fruit from the tree of knowledge. Whispered into your mind you realize this is no gift. It is a burden. The god being opens the maw of one of its eleven heads and sings the song that ends the world.

Up Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start

In all the confusion you’ve forgotten why you wanted this power. You find yourself with the ability to choose how your story will go. You can edit the fundamental order of the universe, predict, change, alter the narrative of your life. You have the mega jump, infinite lives, all the weapons to protect you from those who have hurt you, who would do you harm. You are invincible, have the warp cheat enabled, and know which castle your princess is in. You are suddenly blessed with all the hidden knowledge and subtle nuance that eluded you before. It can now easily be brought to the forefront. You know without thinking that the inventor of Tetris didn’t receive royalties until 12 years after the game’s release and that the video game Doom was named after Tom Cruise’s pool cue in 1986 film The True Color of Money. With that, you get your first inkling that you might have made a huge mistake.

You continue to play the game, exploring the entire map, fearless, and unchallenged. The magnitude of your decision only truly begins to dawn on you as you realize that your desire to escape fear and uncertainty has had an unintended consequence. A consequence that will ultimately ruin the experience. The point of the game seems to have eluded you. You were never meant to win. There wasn’t ever a victory condition. You are bored. The point of the game was to play.

Are we really talking about video games? Is it really about doom? Or is it just a misnomer? I think not. Art is an expression of the unexplainable. Limitations add depth and character to art. The limitations of life are worth having. The doubt and the fear aren’t there to hold you back. They are there to give you the surprise that life has to offer. The surprise isn’t ruined by spoilers, by its nature it can’t be spoiled. It can only be experienced. So I have no reservation in telling you its secrets. There may be room at the top, but its the sides of the mountain that contain life, not the top. Enjoy the clouds and the rocks and flowers and life that you find along the way. Well, I’m from Florida, the flattest state, so take my mountain metaphor with a grain of sea salt.



~Here we are, killing time. Kill Time? Pfft. As if you could injure eternity.

Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 2 – A Measure of Humility

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The Beginning of the End

October 9, 2017

Well, we did a thing. The collective reasoning of thousands of generations of primates pounding the keys of evolution have culminated into the form of a pleasing audio podcast, for your real human ears. As per the quality of this production, I cannot say. I’m too close to it. Our child is beautiful, warts and all. The number of ears is irrelevant. Mine are vestigial anyway.

In our first ever casting of the pod, Brian and I discuss mindfulness and the end of, well everything. In the beginning we ask the titular questions. Girl, who you be? Why you be so cray-cray? Yo what mindfulness is? At least in the sense of the word’s top two leading google definitions.

As has been attempted by many before us on the sea of cast pods; our desire is to throw our brainchild out there, hooked with some juicy morsel hoping to reel you back and see what kind of fish you are. To look into the depths of those pools and wonder, where’s your head at? Though a tree may fall with or without ear shaped sound receptacles around, this pod is cast with intention. Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod, like, share, subscribe, or email if you can hear me. Even as the recording was taking place, streamed live for the eyes of the great and vast internet seas to behold, we were blessed to discover interlocutors right beneath our meager raft. A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.

The pull of our distractions is endless. Every thought, idea, and thing, all beings living and dead, the sum of all the universe is calling out for your attention. A Sisyphean task just to stay the course and finish your day. From the depth of our being, thank you. Thank you for your time. It’s so precious and fleeting and beautiful. And it ends. It’s all you have and the fact that you chose to spend it listening to us, future old men yelling at clouds, is more of a compliment than you might have known.



Listen to the Podcast Episode: Episode 1 – The Beginning of the End

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